If you can't beat 'em, join 'em
by hushedthoughts
Summary: what would happen if Sango decided to act like Miroku? how would Miroku take it? read and find out!


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha!

It has been 3 years since they defeated Naraku, and Miroku still hasn't kept his promise. Though Inuyasha and Kagome were mated or married, depending on which of the two were saying it, Miroku still hasn't asked Sango to marry him. Even though there are still things he didn't do, there is one thing that he always does…

Sango watched silently as Miroku surrounded himself with about 7 women. Happily grabbing butts and staring at chests. The women didn't really mind apparently, because each time he did he would only get a feminine giggle and a blush. Sango was sick of having to pull him away from the women. She was sick of having to beat him senseless every time he felt up a woman. If the women he did it to didn't care, why should she? Her give a damn was officially broken, and Miroku had single handedly destroyed it.

Kagome walked up and looked at Sango's face, surprised that she had not yet snatched the foolish monk away from the hoards of women he seem to love to surround himself with. She asked

"Aren't you going to get him?"

Sango looked at Kagome and smiled then she started to laugh uncontrollably. After calming down from he lunatic like laughter she looked at Kagome with a huge smile and said

"Nope"

With that she walked away with a slightly perturbed Kagome staring after her.

'_Has Sango gone crazy?!'_

After Miroku happily walked back to the cabin that they all shared he looked around for his favorite demon slayer and seen that she was no where to be found. He asked Kagome where she was. Kagome glared at him and said

"That's none of you business!" '_Not that I know anyway…'_

"Kagome, whatever is the matter? You look upset…"

"Miroku you jerk! How could you flirt with all of those women? Right in front of Sango's face?!"

Miroku thought '_ uh oh, Sango seen that?! I'm in for it now…_

Just then Sango walked into the hut she looked at Miroku and smiled a bright wide smile and said

"Hey Miroku! Did you have fun?"

He thought to himself_ 'the quiet before the storm'_

He stuttered out "y-yes" with sweat running down his face

She lifted and eyebrow at him

"what's wrong?"

"n-nothing…"

"oh okay! So… how many women did you get to say "yes" to having your children?"

"S-Sango l-let me explain!"

She lifted her eyebrow at him again and said

"Explain what? I just asked you how many women… all I need is a number…"

Miroku was getting nervous he couldn't read her like usual. Usually she would have pounded him by now and stalked off sulking. It was pretty easy to get her to forgive him. It only took a few apologies and a smile maybe a tad bit more on a bad day, but she had never asked him for details. He always assumed it was something she didn't want to know…

"s-six"

Sango looked at him with a sad expression then hurriedly masked it with a huge smile

"SIX!"

Miroku winced '_here it comes'_

But it didn't come, instead he got,

"Man you're really good! I guess because you've been at it for a while huh? But that's great!"

He looked at her confused while Kagome who was still in the room thought

'_Yep! She's gone crazy!'_

She turned to Kagome and said

"Isn't he good Kagome?!"

"y-yeah"

"What kind of answer was that?! WE'RE IN THE PRESENCE OF A GENIUS HERE!!!!! Be more enthusiastic would ya?"

Miroku grabbed her hand with stars in his eyes

"oh Sango, I'm so happy! You finally understand me!"

"of course Miroku… why wouldn't I?"

She looked at him with a feigned confused expression

"you love women, right?"

"yes"

"you love the way they are made , right?"

"yes"

"you love the way the smell, right?"

"yes" he said happier with each statement

"the way they smile, right?"

"Yes"

"you love the way they move, right?" Sango asked sexily. With a sexy wiggle of her body down then back up again.

"Yes!" Miroku exclaimed drooling

"And one woman is not good enough for you, right?" Her tone of voice almost went back to normal but she checked herself and made sure to keep smiling.

"w-well that's not…"

She gave him a friendly slap on the back and a happy chuckle.

"I totally understand! Well I'm off again; I'll see you guys later!"

Miroku looked at her surprised then he asked

"w-where are you going?"

she smiled even brighter

"to the village! A genius like yourself understands right?"

With that she walked out of the little cottage. Miroku looked at Kagome nervously and asked

"Kagome… What did she mean by that?"

Kagome laughed and walked out the cottage behind Sango. It was about time he got a taste oh his own medicine…

Miroku got nervous at the weird behavior of the two women and decided that he would follow Sango to see what she had meant.

First he saw Sango bend down to play with a little girl so that she would stop crying. He admired her butt, but more than that he admired her kindness.

Then a man walked up to Sango He couldn't quite make out the conversation but he distinctly heard the words "beautiful" "like" "you" and "stroll". He laughed at the man. It didn't matter how handsome he was (though Miroku noticed he was quite handsome) his Sango always turned them down. He watched to see the look on the man's face. But to his surprise he didn't see Sango turning the man down. He saw her smile at the man, he saw her blush at the man, he saw her nod at the man, and he saw her walk off with the man. None of these things are what he expected.

He followed behind to see what they were going to do. He seen Sango giggling at the man's corny jokes he saw her smiling and touching the man's arms and chests. He seen the man flexing his muscles, but worst of all he seen Sango acting impressed. Miroku had gotten close enough to hear what they we're saying. He heard more of their aimless flirting then he heard the man say

"well it's time for me to get back to the fields. I'll talk to you later beautiful" he seen the man brush her cheeks softly and he seen her blush.

He mumbled under his breath "yeah, go back to your fields peasant"

After the man walked off surprisingly Sango turned to him and said

"Wow, I never took you for the stalker type. And it was just plain mean to call Makoto-san a peasant, he was really nice"

Miroku jumped back not expecting Sango to know he was there and defiantly not expecting her to hear him.

"hmph"

She laughed and said

"What's wrong? You're starting to sound like Inuyasha."

"Nothing" he mumbled

"oh… come walk with me!" Sango suggested ignoring his childish behavior

Miroku didn't say anything while he stood to go and walk with her. While walking through the Village Sango seen a very pretty woman and hatched and idea. She looked at Miroku and said

"I'll help this time!"

Before he could ask what she was talking about Sango ran up to the pretty woman and was talking to her with a smile on her face. Miroku seen Sango pointing at him and began to get nervous. After a few seconds the woman walked up to him and said

"That lady said you would have a question for me… something about children"

He looked at Sango bewildered. She smiled, waved, and winked at him then walked away.

He looked at the woman. Any other time he would be happy to ask her to bare his children but today he didn't really feel up to it so he smiled apologetically at the woman and said

"Its okay, my questions already been answered, thank you though"

With that he chased after Sango. When he finally caught up to her, Sango looked at him surprised and she said

"Why are you here with me? Oh… did she turn you down?" She looked at him with fake compassion

"No! I didn't ask her!"

"Miroku what's wrong with you lately? You've been strange I thought that woman was gorgeous…"

Then a handsome man walked by him

"Just like _him_, excuse me."

She said to Miroku as she walked up to the man and started talking he seen the man nod and she walked with him side by side and called back to him

"Catch you back at the cottage!"

Then she heard her say something to the man along the lines of 'no, he's not my husband, don't pay him any attention, he's not important'

That hit Miroku like a punch in the stomach and he mopped back to the cabin looking like a wet kitten.

Inuyasha walked in the cabin and looked down at Miroku, who was so depressed he decided to take a nap, and kicked him.

Miroku rolled over and looked at Inuyasha. Inuyasha was shocked at how pitiful he looked.

"What's wrong with you? ya idiot!"

"Nothing" he muttered and rolled back over.

"Hey did you see Sango she's surrounded by like 7 guys there massaging her and what not…"

Miroku sat up at this and yelled "show me!"

"okay, damn you don't have to yell!"

Inuyasha walked Miroku to Sango. Like Inuyasha said she was surrounded by a hoard of men, two messaging each foot two massaging her shoulders. The others were just staring at her almost drooling at the mouth.

Miroku had seen enough! He was pissed off! How dare she? How dare she be surrounded by men? How dare she enjoy another man's touch? How dare she allow another man to touch her? More than one at that!

He stomped over to her and snatched her up off the stoop she was sitting on. He heard the protests he got from the men and glared at them. Then he heard Sango tell them it was okay. After that he saw their submission and also heard the growls that the men made.

He pulled her all the way until they got to a forest, then he let her go like he had been touching something disgusting.

Sango looked at him innocently and said

Miroku, what's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong! What are you doing?!" he yelled at her

"Miroku you never yell… where's the Miroku I know the genius that can get 5 women in one day to consent to having his children? _He _wouldn't yell like that" Sango said nonchalantly.

"Is that what this is about? Are you punishing me for that?"

"Punishing you? Who's punishing you?! Why would I be upset with your expertise? You taught me everything I know!" Sango said like he had insulted her

Miroku didn't know what to say. He had indeed been in the same situation this same morning. He had 7 women surrounding him just as she had 7 men surrounding her.

Sango looked at him. Inside she hoped he was feeling the same thing she feels every time he had done the same thing, the pain, the jealousy, the rage, the hurt, and the betrayal.

He looked at her with a pained expression. He finally understood why she got so upset. Why slapping him wasn't enough to sooth her anger. When he seen her with those me he felt the need to, Punch, scratch, bite, kick, elbow, knee, body slam, and kill something or someone.

"I'm sorry Sango, I won't do it again"

Sango looked at him and tried to choke back her tears

"No, Miroku I've heard those empty promises before. Now if you will excuse me I have 7 very handsome men waiting to wait on me hand and foot." She tried to walk off but he grabbed her wrist. He'd be damned f he let her go back to those men.

"Let me rephrase what I said. I can't promise you that I'll never hit on another woman. I can't even promise you that I'll never sleep with another woman. What I can promise however is that I will work on my bad habits everyday. I will make a conscious effort to change my terrible ways. I'd do anything for you Sango even if it means giving up on other women, especially if it means losing my woman.

Tears were falling now. She couldn't stop them

"Who's your woman? Last time I checked we were not married" Sango sniffed

Miroku smiled

"Well we're going to have to change that now aren't we?"

"What are you saying Miroku?"

"Will you marry me?"

Sango jumped on him and they both fell on the ground she kissed him passionately for about two minutes. When they finally came up for air Sango breathed out

"yes"

Sango rushed back to the cabin to tell Kagome the good news

"Kagome guess what?!"

"what?"

"I'm getting married!"

she squealed really loudly

"I knew that was coming!"

"how?"

"Inuyasha told me you we're surrounded by men in the village"

"oh"

"Niiiiiiiiiice"

Sango slapped Kagome a five

"right?"

Miroku sat in the door with a hurt expression on his face and said

"Sango… you planned this?" with a puppy face, and a quivering look.

She walked over and hugged him tightly and said

"hey, I'm a demon slayer everything I do is planned out, I wasn't expecting a proposal though. That's a nice bonus" she kissed him deeply right there in the doorway not caring who saw.

A/N: this idea has been in my head for a long time and I wanted to get it down before I forgot it and ended up making a one shot!" I hope you guys enjoyed this please review and tell me what you thought!


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